FIB, that was uncalled for. The only reason I let you off the hook is because the trial starts today... That's a good enough reason. Good Luck my friend!
Hi girls!! The weekend was ok. I went thru another phase in my head, still facing it. Things look so normal, H is SOOO present in the house, that I find myself getting angry because in/at the "line" of our life there is HUGE break/gap because of his actions. I dont know how to explain it in English. I am watching him in the house and think "it feels as he never left WTF did we all have to go through hell to be here again? Why couldnt he control his little head, his limerence feelings from building up (because he WAS VERY VERY much in love with her), why the hell did he get to live a romance so strong and wait it out, see if it would last or no, to decide if I were good enough?
NOT very productive line of thinking, I know. I guess spending normal family time with him last week and this weekend triggered a lot of things. Especially on Sun morning when we went to one of his friends' house for lunch. Many co workers of his there and I kept wondering if they knew he had an affair, if they see me and think "poor woman, she must be desperate to accept him back". My pride is making me suffer...
As a result, I withdrew, was silent and looked sad I think. he did ask me several times what was wrong but I couldnt get myself to talk to him. I decided I would wait.
I have to confess, although I know now is not the right timing, I do need to have some talks about her in the future. Not her, their A. If he thought of me at all, how it felt to be lying, how he feels now telling my son not to lie, how they broke it off, how I am wondering if he came back to me "to die emotionally", if he thinks there is no way to have passion and feeling with me that he had with her... What the hell did he see in her? If he understands the loop he jumped into, how things escalated etc etc. I want to have normal discussion about everything. Not about the Mundial 2010 John... K
