Well, a beautiful lady SHOULD make people beautiful. And I'm not blowing smoke either.
Thankyou HB!
I have 2 FB accounts...one under my real name and one as a fan of Divorce Busting. Initials of screen name + styler. Someone else asked me if you were on FB too.
Eat and hope you get a good nights sleep!
M48 H53 M16 T18 S16 D13 SS30 H drops bomb PA/8-30-09 H leaves 12-30-09 D filed by H 2-10 H asks to come home 4-11 Piecing
confusedwife I was just reading your posts and couldn't help it but to comment.
My WH 1) Doesn't know how to handle money - I always took care of all finances 2) Would buy larger things without consulting me (Flat Screen TV, stereo etc) 3) Doesn't realize the extent of debt we are in (or just minimizes it, doesn't want to deal with it) 4) After moving out he was under the impression that he could come "home" anytime he wanted to, even if I'm not there (I'd put stop to that)
Interesting
M53 H54 D17 M33Y T38Y Bomb OW 09/09 OUT 10/09 BACK 11/09 OUT 01/10 WANTS TO R 04/10 BACK with OW 05/10 Wants to Reconcile 05/11 I said NO
Mila-Maybe our H's all all connected to the same "alien" brain but are in different packages??? Oh yes, I swear my H thought we had a money tree in our back yard!
M48 H53 M16 T18 S16 D13 SS30 H drops bomb PA/8-30-09 H leaves 12-30-09 D filed by H 2-10 H asks to come home 4-11 Piecing
My H 1) Doesn't know how to handle money - I always took care of all finances
Ditto for mine!
Quote:
2) Would buy larger things without consulting me (Flat Screen TV, stereo etc)
Ditto!
Quote:
3) Doesn't realize the extent of debt we are in (or just minimizes it, doesn't want to deal with it)
Ditto!
Quote:
4) After moving out he was under the impression that he could come "home" anytime he wanted to, even if I'm not there (I'd put stop to that)
Mine wanted to make dinner for all of us whenever he came over...but it was too weird/painful to see him bustling about like he was still home with us.. I nixed that by the second time..
Wow, the similarities are amazing with these MLCers...
~ This Diamond now SHINES!! ;-p ~
My Sitch in MLC - http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Main=45253&Number=1901148#
Hi, CW, wow I am so happy for you that you have a great "mentor" like HeartsBlessing. Just stopping by and catching up on your thread. Thank you for all of your support!
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
Oh yeah and CW, what will you need to do when you have your L "respond" to your H's L about the filing of the D?
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
HI NM! You are welcome! I feel I am very lucky and blessed too to have her here and I am sure rooting for you!!! All seems to be going very well for you!
I will have to "answer" what he has put in the papers such as:
Full custody-I agree Splitting the property/bills 50/50-agree or disagree Do I believe that we have tried everything to make our marraige work and that it is not reconcilable-DISAGREE!!!!
Basically, that is the only thing I disagree with. There may be some issues with some things that were purchased with money I inherited when my Dad passed away but basically. if I do not agree with something, his L will answer back etc. A judge may require my H to go into some kind of counseling. My H did tell me back when he dropped the OW bomb that he had contemplated suicide so I can use that besides our M as a reason for counseling. This process could draw out the divorce for awhile which is what I am hoping for.
Hope this answers your question!
Going to be talking with DB coach here in a little bit about how to talk with H about what the D will to to our finances
M48 H53 M16 T18 S16 D13 SS30 H drops bomb PA/8-30-09 H leaves 12-30-09 D filed by H 2-10 H asks to come home 4-11 Piecing
Just got off the phone with DB coach. When I meet with H about the finances...I am to think of it as a business meeting and act as such. She felt it was ok to mention the market analysis I had done on the house and have a copy of it. I am also supposed to get some numbers of what health ins would cost me on my own since I cannot get it thru work...just basically have the numbers all laid out for H for either path, divorce path or not divorce path and if he gets upset or defensive to say "I'm sorry, I understand this is upsetting, but this is the REALITY of where we will be" or something like that.
Sunday is grandson's birthday party and she said that we should make sure that H feels welcome. It will be the first family thing that he will have gone to since he left. I didn't know if I should avoid him or what. She thought that would be a good time to mention any difference/improvement in S14's actions since his meds will be different and that would be a good opportunity to ask him about getting together for a meeting.
She also thought that maybe H was more talkative after son's appt because he felt like he handled it and IHO maybe felt needed. She has said that from the beginning and still stands by that. It is just so hard to know what the heck because as I have found out on here and thru reading that a MLCer is trying to get away from all that RESPONSIBILTY. When he mentioned again to call if we need anything yesterday...maybe it is really what he wants is to feel needed...so frustrating! I WISH I was a mind reader!
So, I do have something that I could call him about but am scared! lol! When my brother changed the door knob/locks on the door for me, he found that the wood is getting rotten where it latches. Now that it has been so damp, the door must be swelling and we couldn't get the door to shut last night so tightend up the piece where the latch goes in and now it won't latch! This is beyond my skill level!!! Since he was so upset about the lock change...I'm thinking he is not the one to call! lol
I did call him this morning to tell him that I made the appt for the dog to have the lump looked at. Told him what time and he said thankyou. I thanked him for taking her. That was it! Boring I know but I did notice that he said "thankyou" and not thanks...it may seem weird to notice that but to me "thankyou" is more formal but it also seems more meaningful and appreciative than just saying "thanks"...probably doesn't mean squat but just noticed it...H is a "thanks" kinda guy!
Guess I am the jabberjaw today or am trying to avoid going back upstairs and finishing putting the primer on...over half done!
M48 H53 M16 T18 S16 D13 SS30 H drops bomb PA/8-30-09 H leaves 12-30-09 D filed by H 2-10 H asks to come home 4-11 Piecing
