R: One woman friend of mine told me that I need to do something extreme and embarrassing in order to show her that I love her her and win her back. Sometimes I feel like that may be the thing to do to get out of this limbo.
I'm not sure about this. A large romantic gesture? Would that be something she would like or crave that is out of character for you or would it create an atmosphere of pursuing pressure? I'm not sure.
You said: When I left, I thought I tired everything, although I really kept doing the same things that never worked and I never took the time to understand her point of view.
Does she realize that you consider yourself basically uneducated about relationships and how fixable they could be back then and you got SCARED and ran? Have you emphasized your fear and lack of knowledge at times when she has been open to this discussion. I'm a female and I think maybe my trust could be rebuilt slowly if I understood that someone simply didn't know until they looked into it and found out that there were easy solutions. Once again, communication without pursuit (when she is open to it). And maybe some romantic gestures? Not sure. Did she have other problems with your marriage when you left besides the fact that you walked away? A trial dating period is really the best you could hope to get in this sitch, in my opinion. And she'd have to ditch loser boyfriend to get that.
You might have to start from trustworthy, attractive friend and work your way back up when loser boyfriend relationship falls apart. Not sure. It's a good sign that she realizes her friend's opinions aren't the best thing in the world.
