WAW in PA-I Moved Out in Error & D has been Filed

[Quart9]

This is great! I wish I had read this when I first came to this board. Heck I wish I would have read it about one minute after my W told me she wanted to S. It doesn't matter so much now but it still great advice. Thanks Rob and Ready2change:

You have to be willing to let go of the people that don't value you or the relationship they have with you. Without a crisis/fear of loss, what would make them want you. Here's another newsflash, she has you, you don't have her. You want her, she doesn't want you. She can have you at any time and she knows it. You can't have her at anytime and you know this. Understand this, accept this, and learn to operate from this point of view. Your current way of thinking and approaching this is not doing you any favors: you're taking steps backwards, not forwards.

Why would you want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with you by choice?

That is what she is saying to you:
"I have the choice to be with you, I know this, I just don't know that I want to be with you."

Read this, understand that this is where your W is right now.

I'll repeat it again,
she has you, she knows this, she can have you at any time that she wants you and it's not terribly exciting for her, especially considering the fact that she's pursuing other men. Look at the dynamic that's in place regarding this, she wants what she can't have, she doesn't want what she does have. You are conquered, easily attainable and human nature dictates that we usually don't appreciate what we have, we usually take it for granted and attribute little value to it. Human nature also dictates that we want what we don't have and we also don't want to be controlled. You are trying to convince her that your marriage is worth saving, even if you say you aren't directly communicating this, you are showing this in your body language, the topics you might discuss, the movies that you watch, etc.

You want to change this, you want to turn this around?

Detach.
Let go.
Drop the rope.
Move on with your life.
Get a life.
Make yourself scarce.
Go out regularly, come home late.
Limit your conversations with her.

Seriously the next conversation you have with her, if I were you I would say something like:
"... I get it, you don't want me anymore, you don't want to be in this relationship anymore, I understand now, I didn't get it before but I get it now and you know what, you're right, I don't want to be here with you either, why would I want to be with someone who doesn't choose to be with me? That's just dumb. You should be with "OM", in fact I think it's a great idea because seriously, I've been lying to myself, this relationship wasn't that great and I wasn't honest with myself, you aren't floating my boat either and maybe it's time I start to find out what it's like to be with other women who want to be with me, in fact I think this is a GREAT IDEA!"