Divorced, Dating, and Parenting

[~Sol]

It's good to hear from all you guys!!! Miss ya! Yes it takes longer to heal, but taking it one day at a time. My daughter really is the one person in this life that is keeping me sane and focused. All I do now is for her, and I'm sure I'll know when I am truly ready to date for real. From time to time I do get those "lonely feelings" - I'm sure all can relate. Even so, I am working on getting my act together and pushing myself to be positive about succeeding in many areas. How one looks at things in his/her life makes a big difference in trying to make real changes. One of my biggest struggles is not believing in myself enough - which makes it harder to see the light at the end of many tunnels. Well, working on that on a daily basis.

A big issue came up this weekend about my daughter wanting to attend a gifted middle school. XW was totally against any school except the ones in her school district (daughter goes to mom's district by day - sleeps with me by night). I guess XW still wants "control" over my D's schooling. Well, instead of fighting her on it, I am letting this one slide and pick my battles wisely. D will be fine in a regular school, and this ain't worth going to court over. Heck, I thought long and hard about when it would benefit my daughter for me to intervene, and I decided to wait it out till she reaches college when she's 18. I'm still part of her life, I will be at all her school events, I will be there when she has her first serious boyfriend, when she goes to prom, all that. But when it's time for my baby to pick a college, I am supporting anything she will want to do, even if it's an out of state college. See, I will be there for my D in adult life as well, supporting her 100% and I know her mom will not want to - especially when it comes to my D moving away. My D knows this, we talked, and she seems happy about it. Her mom is kinda weird about wanting control over our D - she's gonna get a rude awakening when my baby turns 18 and flies away from the nest. XW wants "control" of her schools right now? - Fine. I'm supporting my D, not my X, and telling my D about all the choices and opportunities she will get as she grows into adulthood. My baby wants to be a marine biologist, she's 11, but it's her current dream right now - I support that. If she sticks with this, it means she will travel - a lot. If that's her dream when she's an adult, I am there supporting her. All this is showing me that my XW is really being selfish, she can't "control" our D's life forever. 7 years is not that long, and soon my D will be on her own, making her own decisions. Plus I'm glad she's still interested in going to college!!

I will need to keep labs in mind - they are great companions. We both give whatever our D needs, but X still likes to claim to be giving more - whatever. Well it's late, I can rant more but this is longer than I wanted to post!