I think it would or could be made to my advantage. The thing is I don't think it would last. I am starting to gather that the chief reason my ex has been periodically shaking things up by rearranging our childcare provisions is precisely because she can't stand to see me adapt to and get used to the current situation, whatever that might be at the time.
But I do fully intend to wrest this control away from her. From now on, I will do what I feel to be right for my S's and myself -- to h*ll with her and anything to do with her! I am no longer worrying about trying to compromise with her anymore. Attempts to be reasonable and to compromise with someone like her have gotten me nowhere. Now if her aims should happen to parallel my own, then fine, no problem -- but otherwise...
--- I just got off the phone with my S's. I couldn't get a hold of them last night -- I assumed that with them all being still down in Myrtle Beach her cell phone must have been dead or off.
But when I reached my S's tonight, I tried to catch up with them but they didn't want to talk. I had been bracing myself to be assailed by all the wondrous fun they had with xW and OM during the beachside resort and waterpark adventure - I was ready to be happy they had enjoyed themselves, but it never came off. Instead it was all "hi" and "bye". It rials me that I know xW is keeping them distracted when I call -- she does this too often now, not just tonight. She refuses to turn the TV off or to pause it. And she tells them to curtail the call when I try to engage my S's about their day.
This is against the rules. It's also against our consent order. But I no longer have any hope she can be held accountable, to anything. Meanwhile I feel my R with my S's is being undermined, weakened, overshadowed, on every front.
---
I had a good conversation with my bible study group last night. I spoke to two other men in particular, and appreciated hearing more of their own personal testimonies. I've come to understand that as bad as my sitch seems to be getting at times, it can always be far worse.
