Is it too late to expose affair?

[gardengirl72]

Thanks Allen and Maynard....I think my sitch is different than most...I know reality says differently. The OW's H remarried last year....this has been going on for almost 5 years.


My LONG full thread is in 'newcomers' under 'quietly watching....need help'. (in that I mistakenly typed OW called for first time 6/95, it was actually 6/05)

At the time my H left, 2/10/10, he said no longer wants to be married. To his credit, he did tell me he wanted to see OW as he still has feelings for her (from all those years ago) and can't understand why! He thinks he needs to find out once and for all, if they had a chance, would it work. Before when he would leave, he told me he needed to think because he didn't want to make a mistake and leave me and find out it was the wrong choice. This time, he flat out said I don't want to be married.


At this point, I'm not sure I want to be married either.

I have a daughter (31) from a previous marriage (X is an alcoholic)she was 8 yrs old when we married, basically only father she has known.

Other daughter, from OW (explained in other sitch) is 30 married and has daughter (grandchild)18mos.

Family on both sides (mine and H) know of OW. The girls do not. H's family is behind me 100%. I have hesitated telling the girls in case we were to get back together. I'm not sure how my Step-daughter would take it if she knew her mother was doing this...I lean more towards her not believing me....then if we do get back together there is a riff between her and I after H waited years to have a relationship with her.

OK...I have read this and see how ridiculous this sounds....feel free to use 2x4's now

At this point, I don't think there is anything, as far as the affair goes, that I can do that won't push my H further away. I have gone 'dark' and do not call him....giving him his space....but I'm not so naive as to believe they haven't seen each other either.


Thanks for your help...gg