My wife is treating me very nice so far this weekend and I believe she is not trying to contact the OM. She has told me that she is willing to be more open about her conversations with him, but still doesn't seem willing to cut off communication with him completely. She now says she thinks he might be gay, which I'm pretty sure is not true since he is married and has two kids. (He has two boys, ages 7 and 1 and we have two girls, ages 7 and 3.)
I have made arrangements with the police that he is not welcome on my property and he can be arrested if he comes. I have asked him many times and in many ways to leave my wife alone and not contact her, and he has actually agreed on about three separate occasions and even apologized to me once saying it was over, but he was back at it emailing her within a week each time. Ironically, tomorrow is our 12 year anniversary, and my wife said a couple days ago when I got into her email that if I bought her flowers, she would just throw them in the trash.
A couple of questions: 1) I know how to intercept and redirect emails from him and have them sent to my email. Should I? I'm just afraid I might get caught and that would definitely send my wife's flames higher.
2) Should I try to block his phone? (Same concern as #1 applies.)
My wife is asking for a divorce and I don't completely understand why.
I would have a talk with his wife again. Is she really being that naieve and trusting STILL?
Have you TOLD his wife that your wife wanted to divorce you for him and admitted she's in love with him?
I want to know why his wife is still comfortable with her husband talking to a woman who claims to be in love with him.
What wife in their right mind would sign off on her husband talking in private to a woman who claims to be in love with him?
I suspect you haven't told her about that. If not - EXPOSE the affair properly... don't pull punches.
If the OM tells you he will stop and he's emailing her again a week later you need to find some leverage on him.
Does he work? Show up at his workplace in front of EVERYONE there and humiliate him. Call him a creep and tell him to stay away from your wife or you're coming back and you wont' be nice about it next time.
This guy is just humouring you. You need to find a way to FORCE him to leave her alone.
I would not try to intercept messages. He has to WANT to leave her alone...
If you have a way to transparently trap incoming mail and COPY it to your PC then do it... it is valuable intelligence.
IF your wife will discover this, don't do it.
Your wife IS having an affair with her Ken.
If SHE refuses to end contact, AND he is ignoring you, that means they are putting each other before you... that's a big RED LIGHT.
Get his wife involved... she HAS to apply pressure on his end.
I know that Allen advocates doing things with full openness about what you're trying to accomplish...I know that doing things covertly are difficult and when BUSTED, make you look only that much worse.
That being said- see what Allen has to say...I know that you are safeguarding your M and that is NOTHING to be ashamed about.
As for the Anniversary, maybe a generic card, nothing more...the correct answer may be nothing at all.
I would def not go all out w/ anything more than a card though.
Sounds like things are OK- I wouldn't believe the gay thing either, could be a diversion...
Do you have anything in writing that proves an affair is taking place?
Dont' sweat the flowers, people having affairs say all sorts of ridiculous stuff that they don't mean... you need balls of steel and you have to ignore it.
Is your WIFE telling HIS wife ANY of the details they are discussing?
Does she NOT CARE if her husband is gay? Does she not CARE that your wife claims to be in love with the man? Does his wife really care for this guy at all?
I want to know how she can possibly help this guy if they arne't sharing any info with his wife?
She's teh guys' wife, why isnt' she interested in what they are talking about?
I don't get it.. Ken, something's missing here... please fill us in... no woman is THAT trusting and THAT neieve.. I suspect you haven't told her everything.
I know that Allen advocates doing things with full openness about what you're trying to accomplish...I know that doing things covertly are difficult and when BUSTED, make you look only that much worse.
That being said- see what Allen has to say...I know that you are safeguarding your M and that is NOTHING to be ashamed about.
As for the Anniversary, maybe a generic card, nothing more...the correct answer may be nothing at all.
I would def not go all out w/ anything more than a card though.
Sounds like things are OK- I wouldn't believe the gay thing either, could be a diversion...
Yup maynard, normally I would, but this woman is deleting emails and openly hiding information... so I say take the info directly.
She's being disrespectful towoards him, so why respect her privacy?
