Has she ever gone to individual counseling to figure out why she lets her friends and her mother control her actions and opinions to the extent that she stays with a loser rather than follow her heart? Did you do something awful and unforgiveable or does she literally not know how to work towards reconciliation without "saving face" and "getting approval" from her mother and friends?
It seems like it would be difficult to be married to a woman who lets her friends and mother control her even if you did reconcile. So some solution might be in order there. Filing for divorce to get people off your back seems extreme. Is it possible she is blaming them for her own choices so that you will not be as angry with her for divorcing you?
