Perhaps it is difficult and saddeniing to admit that you and H and your children can't have it all. I don't know if that's an unrealistic expectation that everyone in your city suffers or not. If you all move to shoddier houses in worse neighborhoods you may be able to have it all (him work less and you homeschool and work less). But that's not having it all either. Sorry if this sounds like a 2X4, but in a few days I think it will become clearer how to send an email that is both affirming, collaborative, and personal boundary setting about time, space, and money truths that exist on planet earth.
Life in your H's bubble may have brainwashed you into thinking more is possible than is and that more options exist than do or that the human body is capable of what it is not and now you go around beating yourself up over his unrealistic expectations that you have now internalized. Who knows? I think you also need to be realistic about how "affirmed" H is ever going to feel about the money topic.
