I wanted to respond to your questions that you had posted on another poster's thread here for you.
"Snodderly - In my sitch I do not see any excessive spending. I do see secrecy - is the lack of spending and indication that she may not be in full replay mode yet? I suspect that she is based on her actions (It's all about me, A, etc.). Also, do you have any insight into how the MLCer deals with children. In my case she was and still in (in some cases) a good mom. Should I expect to see any changes in regards to the iteraction with the kids. The one thing that I have noticed is that she appears to be "moulding" my oldest, who is 16 to take over the role of man of the house. Is this normal?"
My responses are this: each and every mlcer will behave differently throughout the crisis. Some have very similiar traits and others will be totally different. If one squanders all of his/her money, another one may not. It all depends upon the mlcer, childhood issues and personalities....we cannot put them all into one basket for they are all different, i.e., one size does not fit all.
As for children, they generaly single one child out and treat that child either as a pal or someone special. I think the reason for this is because they can relate more closely to that child and the child does not pose a threat to them. For example, your 16 yr old appears to be her special child right now. The other children will not get as much attention, if any, from the mlcer when the special attention is being addressed to that one child. This will continue for quite some time and may not disappear until the crisis is over. Again, it all depends upon the mlcer.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
