CTH: I agree. Working with kids is very energizing. I was on my feet for 11 hours yesterday after getting less than 3 hours sleep and I didn't even care, it was so much fun!
UGH.....this is cry-fest 2010 around here...
Need to pull it together. Part could be hormones, I don't know...yesterday I was watching one of our kids do Sophie's Choice for her Prose performance and I started crying! Of course the subject matter was sad and I related to the lead having a little boy and girl, but still!
Then Dan was supposed to have the kids today. Once again, we don't have set times (not even in the decree), just set days.
So I asked if he was coming to church, he said no. I called after church, he said he was 'on his way'. He came twenty minutes later...it is frustrating not to know what to expect.
We had spoken briefly last night. I told him I wanted to review a few things with him re. the new schedule and dividing up the last of our stuff.
[For back information, he had said he wanted to start following the decree this Wednesday-Sunday. Again, we haven't said anything about pick up/drop off times. Plus, I know for a fact he didn't make arrangements with the day care for the kids Thurs and Fri mornings. Which, he would need if he keeps the kids overnight during a school week. I don't need to rescue him but I do want to make sure my kids are provided for.
So I want to set a procedure for picking up/exchanging the kids. I also want to confirm which things he is taking out of the house so I can finish reclaiming my space. For example he has a deep freeze, some lumber, and tools in the garage. I want them out so I can park my car in the garage by the time tornado season rolls around next month.]
So today he gets here and
Me: When can we review the info
Him: Thought we would talk tonight
Me: After kids are in bed?
Him: No that isn't necessary.
Me: I don't think it appropriate to talk about with them
Him: Well they were with your parents for two days and I haven't seen them for a week so I didn't want them to go soemwhere while we talk
Me: Ok then never mind
Him: See, this is what always happens. You ask, I give you an answer, and you don’t like it. So you just tell me how you want it to go.
Me: I just don’t think it is a good idea to talk about dividing our things and splitting them between houses in front of them (they were out heading to his car at this point).
Dan: I don’t think it is a big deal. It isn’t like they will be sitting there staring at us listening. They can play while we talk.
(I know my kids, and Nathan will keep one ear open at all times if he thinks we are having a conversation at all related to us, our Marriage/Divorce, etc)
I got teary at this point out of frustration, because it is so true. We do repeat the same pattern, bc HE thinks that if I don’t agree with him, I am being difficult!?!
I just give up, I can’t win. I am crying again just trying to type it out………
I start out having what I think it a logical, calm conversation and then the minute I don’t agree with something he says, he gets this look of disappointment/resignation on his face that says, “See, THIS is why I left you…” and I hate it.
I just never want to have to see or talk to him again and yet I do not have clue #1 what the plan is for my children. How could his house be done if he just got back from Mexico??
Am I packing a bag for them or giving him a box of half their clothes so they don’t have to pack a bag anymore?
Are they going to daycare after school on his days, or to his mom and dads? He just is not a ‘details’ guy, but Nathan will HAVE to know what he is doing after school each day so he knows where to go after school…
Ugh I am tired of thinking so I will stop. I just don’t know wth to do
