She wants to see you feel bad... so she's prodding you about it.
Tell her the following :
"Just move your belongings out of my home please."
Don't smile, don't sneer. Just tell her what I wrote above and that's it.
You are right, if you tell her you are NOT ok, you are pursuing, but if you tell her you ARE ok, you are validating...
She WANTS to see you have an emotional breakdown so she's prodding you for one since you aren't offering...
Don't give her the satisfaction of showing upset or pursuit... just tell her to move everything out, you have a busy day planned and you don't want your whole day taken up with this.
I recommended that you have a friend there to run interference over a month ago.. you are there alone I presume so you will have to deal with her alone.
