OK, round two complete, did not help this round...did lawn work instead.
Put up some pictures and artwork from my parents to replace the empty spaces on the wall.
Moved some furniture from a guest bedroom into the main room as well.
No emotional breakdowns...W keeps asking me if I'm OK...I say that I'm OK..
Allen I know you say that the WS should never be told that, they should be reminded of what they are doing...does it matter in this case b/c WAW is having an A?
I also think me saying- "I'm not OK, my W is leaving" shows me to be needy and pursuing...
I say leave and go somewhere. She knows you don't want to end your marriage, right? Good job keeping your cool.
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
She wants to see you feel bad... so she's prodding you about it.
Tell her the following :
"Just move your belongings out of my home please."
Don't smile, don't sneer. Just tell her what I wrote above and that's it.
You are right, if you tell her you are NOT ok, you are pursuing, but if you tell her you ARE ok, you are validating...
She WANTS to see you have an emotional breakdown so she's prodding you for one since you aren't offering...
Don't give her the satisfaction of showing upset or pursuit... just tell her to move everything out, you have a busy day planned and you don't want your whole day taken up with this.
I recommended that you have a friend there to run interference over a month ago.. you are there alone I presume so you will have to deal with her alone.
