My H does that to me at times. I've dropped it. I agree it's one of the most hurtful things possible to have done to you. It lacks basic civility and seems passive-aggressive at best. That said, I've decided to reframe it as a mental and emotional issue that HE is having that I will ignore at this time. If you have bigger issues to deal with in MC, don't put this one on the table at this time. I just continue to model an open door policy to my home because I think that's the mature and civil and emotionally healthy alternative. I can't control the pace of his learning to handle his emotions or any other thing. So I guess pick your battles and learn to soothe your own wounds for now. Sorry
Thanks. Nothing to be sorry about as I think you are right on target with your thinking. In the relative scope of things, it's a minor issue and it's my issue for feeling hurt.
I love your reframing idea of "it's an issue that my w is having right now, not me, and I will just ignore it." It's not like she's set up a security perimeter, with armed guards, around her house--we've had many lunches on her porch and many many good convos there too.
I also agree about modeling the open door policy at my home. I continue to do that.
I agree about w's closed-door policy lacking civility and I've stopped trying analyze why she is doing that. In fact, I don't even want to ask her for her reasons and they likely based on her feelings rather than facts anyway.
I'm just going to let this one go, I think, and watch if she comes around.
