flowmom | need to commit to myself

[flowmom]

On a related note...I'm realizing how rattled I was by H's demeanour yesterday (gaunt, tired face, more reactive with the kids). I think I had a "walking on eggshells" feeling yesterday and still have it this morning as I wait for my children to be returned to me for the day. I'm realizing how much of my energy has gone into coping with my anxiety about H's black moods (sleep deprivation induced). I feel urges to want to step in and protect the kids from him when he is like that (because he can be harsh and is likely to yell, or just be a black hole).

And H's email today tells me that some of my feelings are justified because they ARE personal. When H is like that around me, I'm correctly picking up the underlying "stuff". He's still telling himself the story that everything that is wrong with his life is MY fault.