This winter was the first winter we didn't have 60 degree days in December, January or February since they've been keeping records. It's been a cold and miserable winter, too many days without sunshine.... March hasn't had a sunny day yet, as we normally have leaves budding out by now, but the trees are nearly bare. Oh, I have seen the robins, some crocus, and the color green underneath the brown grass, the signs are there, however, the temperatures haven't spoken of Spring yet.
As for me, well, I exist more than I live. I've lost the sense of hope, at times my faith in God, and people. Oh, not everyone, of course, but those who have elected themselves to help and protect others and their rights. The system, if you will.
My children are my greatest joy. Having them ripped from my life as they have been, well, has been my greatest fear. Both God and Dick knew this about me, and the nightmares I had for years since the children were born. Nothing could stop Dick and the court. Nothing. I would like to expose them both, for what has been done, but it wouldn't be for revenge, it would be so no one else would have to bare the emptiness that I have been learning to live with.
D has been accepted to Stanford. Stanford reached out to her, she's still a Junior. Her academic scores on the various tests have drawn their attention. I've told you that she was a bright one. Dick has now convinced her to join the Navy, as he also tried to convince my son he wasn't smart enough for college and needed to go into the military. She believes she will be traveling the world, and receiving a fine education to boot. Now mind you, my Father, Uncles, Cousins, a few boyfriends, and many friends, are Navy or retired Navy and I'm very proud of them and their service. None of them were accepted to Stanford prior to going to the Navy.
In Dick's family, there is no one who has been Military. Oh, Dick swears he wanted to go to the Airforce because he loved to fly planes, but said he wasn't accepted because he already knew how to fly. BS? Absolutely, because we both know he would have never survived being told what and how to do things by someone else.
As for me, well, I focus on one day at a time, putting one foot in front of another. I'm learning to survive with what has been given me. Although there are days I wonder what I've done to deserve my life today. Yes, I realize my life can be a whole lot worse, for there will come a day when the children and I will be together again, and I am grateful for this, and this thought keeps me going. Now, if the sun would shine, I'm sure my outlook would be a whole lot better.... and this too shall happen, it's just a matter of time.
Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you.........
