I just let him jabber on yesterday and did a nodding etc. One thing I thought later about was that H had also mentioned that he was "not above" coming and splitting some more wood and I told him that I had ordered more propane and that as long as he was working 7 days/week that it I wouldn't ask him to do that. Maybe I should have let him do that?
The more he will do, the more you need to back down in that way and let him do. For each responsibility you remove, the more he's not doing...and the funny thing is he "needs to be needed", whereas before you've handled everything haven't you?
Quote:
Now I do have a question...I do want to discuss our financial situation with him and yes, it is in hopes that he will slow down the D. As I have said, I will not be able to afford the house payment on my own and am getting more money from him now than I would with just child support. I would like to call him and ask for a meeting to discuss them. I want to show him that we owe more than what we could sell our house for. I have taken all the bills and split them 50/50 (with the exception of his car/cycle payments as unless he wants to sell those, he will have to continue to take those over or sell them). I am not sure that he realizes all of this, I am prepared that he may not care one way or the other. I just feel that I need to put it out there... I have thought of just mailing him the stuff too. Any advice?
Your intuition is right there, advising you..and you go with it, CW. Don't mail anything to him, and I'll tell why I think this way. As I remember, the MLC'er has severe comprehension problems when it comes to anything the LBS puts before them, why, other than LBS is the enemy, I don't know. They seem to function fine in their work world; though they have some troubles there from time to time. It seems that everything the LBS does or doesn't do is construed as control and the MLC'er runs farther away.
I, like you, am fairly sure your husband doesn't realize the extent of debt that is there, but be prepared for anything and everything. It is part of his consequences to be shown where this is going if he persists in continuing this divorce, but you'll need to get a grip on yourself, and just talk to him in a calm, matter of fact way, not a confrontational tone.
But, all you can do is put these things on the table before him; it would have to be done sometime or another; so now, is as good of a time as any to put this on the table in front of him.
Be prepared, either way.
The rest, is up to you.
Have a good one.
Remember, as each person is different, every MLC/Transition is different..what works for one may not work for another. Most of the time it is trial and error for ALL involved.
