My story, what to do next.

[digger22]

Continuing,

So, I would consider myself of a very strong mind. Combine that with my knowledge of affairs, how they don't last and how they make you make poor choices. I am affair proof right? I had to see for myself.

The EA

talking about my situation, how I feel, what I stand for, ect. ect. I begin to feel the pull. The power is like a magnet sucking me right in. I want to stop, I know it is wrong, but I am powerless. The excitement is too much for me. I crack, I end up kissing her at the end, and I don't want it to stop there, but I know that it has to. Now this EA was with a person that I find attractive, but in absolutely no way see as a match, or "marriage potential". I leave the situation and immediately know that it has to end it in my mind.

What comes next is the kicker. I ended it, it is done forever. My brain has just experienced a thrill like never before and I just told it to stop because it's not right, but it feels sooooo right. Immediately my head begins to swell. I literally cannot process anything for 1/2 hr. I hear people talking but cannot concentrate enough be able to make sense of anything. For the next 2.5 hrs my head hurts and I am not normal. Put that in retrospect, the ending of my 5 minute affair has destroyed me for the next 2.5 hrs.

Affairs- new, exciting, sinful, infatuation, lust, desire. Roll that into one. I understand why my wife never thinks she loved me. The combination of all these feelings produced something way more powerful than the real love that I have ever felt for my wife. Affairs are most certainly addictions. I have been addicted to gambling and tobacco in my life, yet they didn't control me the way my 5 minute affair did. I was able to quit my addictions, only when I decided they were causing me too many problems and they were negatively impacting my life. People told me to stop, and I did for a time, only to fall back into the addiction. I ended them for good when I wanted too, I promised myself that I would never do them again in my life and I will not fail.

I have learned that the brain cannot decipher between real and fantasy. Now it is easy for all of us to talk about our SO who are in affairs how they are living in a fantasy world and sooner or later reality will set in and everything will crash for them. This is true that almost all will end without the promise that they started with. Most of the time they end when it is too late to reconcile, or the OP has moved on and shut the door. Yet their are still others that have it end, only to go find another and get that "high" again.

Well that's my story for the day, I hope you all can learn from this and realize what you are truly up against here. We honestly don't compare to what our SO are dealing with, how could we? If your SO is in a Affair, work on yourself and let them go, give them to god and hope that he can show them the way before it is too late. Do not consume yourself with it, for it will just hurt you and cause you pain and interrupt what your goals in life are.

Move on, educate yourself and enjoy your life. Pray, if it was meant to be it will happen for you. If reconciliation doesn't happen, then you will find something better out there, but only if you allow yourself to be free.

Don't follow your feelings, follow your heart because it knows right from wrong. Very true, but much easier said than done. Take it from a guy that knows first hand.