DU, please post here and let us know how you're doing. We care about you.
(((DestinyUnknown)))
me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4 current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp .: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.
I know this posting is pretty late for those of you here on the East Coast, but I haven't been on in a couple of days. I have been ill for the last couple of days.
My mother and sister came in today to spend a few days with me. This is usually stressful for me because I just don't want to be judged, but I am also attempting to let them help with boundaries. I am happy to have them here. I continue to pray on my M, but I am very discouraged because of everything that has happened. I am wrought with angish over my H's MLC and him being w/someone else.
I will continue to pray. Not sure what applies in my situation because I have heard that God does not like divorce. My IC is going to help me with coping skills and indicated that my H is lashing out (at this point through text messages and email) at me because he is still trying to justify his behavior and decisions. It appears that he is telling his family that he tried by going to counseling (3 times).
I hope everyone is doing well and that you continue to persevere in your situations. Peace to all.
OLD THREAD-http://tinyurl.com/y98nuty Me 44 H 51 T 15 yrs M 9+ yrs No Kids "You may be deceived if you trust too much, but you will live in torment unless you trust enough."
My mother and sister came in today to spend a few days with me.
I'm glad that your family is there to support you.
Originally Posted By: DestinyUnknown
This is usually stressful for me because I just don't want to be judged
You won't be and you won't let them. Judgment is reserved for your creator.
Originally Posted By: DestinyUnknown
but I am also attempting to let them help with boundaries.
That is good to hear. Remember: Boundaries are all about you and how you wish to be treated. They can be applied to everyone in your life - your family and friends included. This is the standard template for boundaries:
Setting: When you _____, I feel ______, I want __________ . Enforcing: if you ______ I will __________ .
An example:
When you yell at me I feel disrespected. I want that to stop as of right now. If you lose your temper again I will hangup the phone in your ear.
Originally Posted By: DestinyUnknown
I continue to pray on my M, but I am very discouraged because of everything that has happened.
I hear you. Have courage. You are stronger than you think and even know. Keep your faith.
Originally Posted By: DestinyUnknown
I am wrought with angish over my H's MLC and him being w/someone else.
That is understandable. You know that everyone here knows exactly what you are going through. If you let us we can guide you through the process.
Originally Posted By: DestinyUnknown
Not sure what applies in my situation because I have heard that God does not like divorce.
You will know what applies when you reach an inner peace about your decision. It will take time because His timing is unlike ours. While you are waiting on his decision to come through you're going to work on yourself.
Originally Posted By: DestinyUnknown
My IC is going to help me with coping skills
That is good to hear.
Originally Posted By: DestinyUnknown
indicated that my H is lashing out (at this point through text messages and email) at me because he is still trying to justify his behavior and decisions. It appears that he is telling his family that he tried by going to counseling (3 times).
Do not concern yourself about that. The above is what is commonly referred to as 'script.' It's in your best interest now to ignore and try to not let it affect you. It's easier said than done... we know... but it is doable so take heart in that.
Originally Posted By: DestinyUnknown
I hope everyone is doing well and that you continue to persevere in your situations.
I'm feeling better now knowing that you have a support system in place and you are surrounded by people who love you.
The first priority right now is YOU. This is what you need to work on. Forget about the rest and build up your strength. It's good to hear from you again.
M:11 | T:12 | Status: Married 4C's of WAS communication: Cool, Calm, Collected and CONFIDENT
DU, sorry to read that you've been ill. I've been ill a lot since the "bomb"...I guess the stress has been hitting me.
I hope that your family is a comfort to you right now. Take what good they can offer and firmly refuse the rest.
Glad that you posted...hugs to you.
me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4 current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp .: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.
I hope you are all doing well. Nothing really new on my end. I am still very depressed about my situation. My H sent a message to the neighbors telling them that he is deploying overseas soon and they have been calling today to ask if they could throw him a party. What do I do?
I have not sent him a message about this.. They won't take no for an answer.
OLD THREAD-http://tinyurl.com/y98nuty Me 44 H 51 T 15 yrs M 9+ yrs No Kids "You may be deceived if you trust too much, but you will live in torment unless you trust enough."
OLD THREAD-http://tinyurl.com/y98nuty Me 44 H 51 T 15 yrs M 9+ yrs No Kids "You may be deceived if you trust too much, but you will live in torment unless you trust enough."
