Actually, that might be "I would prefer if you come with me." Either way. I'm not sure of the correct grammar. But the correct thought is that you would like to do nice things with your wife because you love her and you love to be with her.
I get the idea about the wild animal not wanting you to approach it. But the pussycat comes close and wants to be petted. People are not robots with buttons that make them act certain ways. Your wife is a person who will respond in her own way. If you are not warm and friendly to her, someone else will be and she might prefer to spend her time with him.
All this talk about being "lovingly detached" What is that? All I see is detached. And detached has a coldness about it. Where is the loving part? Your chance to act loving to your wife is now. If you miss your chance, when will you get another one?
