Thanks Allen...unfortunately I just got back from dinner; so I dont have time to get it to a neutral spot. I'm gonna pack up what I can so the move doesnt take long.
W and I went back and forth via text.
M- I've been thinking, if you're unwilling to end your affair you should take all your things tomorrow.
W- I will take all my things
M- why would you lie then?
W- what did I lie about?
M- how can you pretend to be taking time for yourself while having an affair?
W- my relationship is not involved, I have plenty of time for myself.
M- Your affair hurts me deeply; I cannot speak to you until its over. I married you for life. When you are willing to address the issues of the M we can talk...take care
I'm embarrassed to put this here b/c I know its probably not right, but I want to be honest about the sitch.
Dinner was basically ruined for me- I was completely in my head, wondering how the heck I got to where I am and what the heck is wrong w/ W that she can't see how easy things are to address.
She's ade her work life SO important that I faded out into the background, then she cut me out.
No matter now, I suppose- this is where I am.
I see all of my issues and even hers, but I cannot fix her, only me.
I hate it b/c we are right for one another, b/c our issues are so similar- I had great cinversation a=over dinner w/ 2 of my friends...not typical guy talk, but rather issues regarding core trauma and addressing issues of the psyche...conversations that escaped W and I for 6 years...always glossing over things and never having deep emotional conversations.
I know next time will be different, will be better...I hoped to only M once and it bothers me that I've learned what I have too late for this M.
I know that I will have less regret than W b/c yes I see the issues now, but have been willing to address them and salvage something...that should make me feel better, but it does not.
ALL 2x4s WELCOMED...sorry to let you guys down, I'm fairly confident that the texts were inappropriate.
Also, I learned yet again that seeing or speaking to W only hurts me- I was hoping after 2 weeks of not seeing her I would have had more detchment and be less apt to being hurt...sadly thats not the case
