It was a legitimate invitation, and I checked with stbxH to see if he minded me going. It's his family, and I definitely didn't want him feeling uncomfortable. He didn't mind at all, and even offered me a ride. I accepted his offer, since in this conversation I found out that S19 was angling to borrow my car tonight...
The party itself went fine, conversation stayed on safe topics like stuff going on with the kids, and I generally tried to stay inconspicuously in the background. On the way home, stbxH started a D conversation- he asked if I had anything ready in terms of a separation agreement. He was putting some numbers together himself, and already had the house appraised. He said "let's hash out as much as we can ahead of getting the L's involved."
I wasn't really expecting that, he caught me off-guard. I was waiting to get something from his atty, not having a face to face conversation. I really didn't want to talk to him directly. Anyways, I rattled off a few basic things- house equity, retirement accts, the remaining stock acct. I also told him that I ran us through the child-support software at work, and came up with a figure based on very close estimates. Spousal support is not by formula, and I didn't have a number to offer him. I really didn't want to tell him even if I did, I want to see what he offers first. I also mentioned that the county has a suggested holiday schedule for child custody, and that we both needed to attend the county's parenting seminar. His response to both was "do we really need that?" He figures with the holidays, we should easily agree on a schedule, and maybe the seminar was just for contested divorces. I don't know what to think about the holidays with the kids even if they are older- I just thought using the county's suggested schedule would negate having to have a discussion about it- I just don't want to talk to him if I don't have to. And yes, the parenting seminar is required for everybody- sorry, stbxH.
He ended it by saying he would forward his numbers to me soon. yippee?? yay??- blech...
