1. How do you deal with insecurities re: OP? Wow I have been at this for three years and I still have insecurities. But the fact is I did not have them before and I think that was part of the problem. I was too secure in our relationship. Having insecurities and how you deal with them is what I think you need work on. I know I need to work on trust just enough to not be smothering yet not too much to be taken as a fool again.
2. At what point did you decide you were officially piecing.
I think the minute YOU decide to try and do your part you have started piecing. It’s trying to put it all back together again.
3. Now this one's a little weird. My view on NC is to make HIM come to ME since I had always GONE to HIM. At what point is it acceptable (probably before piecing) for me to start pursuing him again (I mean, in an M it can't be all one sided forever, right?)? I guess what I'm saying is after a few successful dates, can I ask him out?
This is different for you than I. We never got divorce or separated. (Well she does sleep in another room though) You have a son... I would just let things happen with him involved like b-day or activities and see how it goes. If things go well there I see no problem having lunch or something without your son. The problem comes in how you ask for the “lunch date” and how you react. You can’t expect anything. You have to keep in mind if it happens it happens if not no big deal. You: Hey you want to go to lunch Tuesday? Him: Na I have to meet with so and so You: no problem I just thought it would be nice to have lunch sometime... maybe next week
AND LET IT GO WITH A SMILE…..
This is my opinion but remember I have been at this for three years…If I had done everything right we would have been back “together” long ago….
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
