My apologies. I read your post like you were contacting another EX while in the R with your current EX based on the comment you shared that your mom made.
See, what it all boils down to is this. You CHOSE not to leave the R and tolerate all the things you didn't like. It doesn't matter if it was for your daughter or not. Bottom line that is what you chose to tolerate and live with. If your EX threatened to leave when she didn't get her way you would have had to arrange a custody schedule at that point. Not much different than where you are now, no?
You always say "most people" would not like this or that. Stop comparing what you *think* most people would or would not like.
IMO you sound like a homebody that is very comfortable in a reverse gender role. And there isn't a thing wrong with that. However your EX simply wasn't a woman that found that lifestyle attractive or fulfilling. Granted, she could have ended the R sans affair but either way it sounds like your lifestyles simply did not mesh. If she was unwilling to bend your way a bit and you were unwilling to bend her way a bit there is little left to do.
You chastised your EX for doing things that are fairly normal IMO. Maybe your EX feels your daughter enjoys the play area at the market. Maybe your EX felt your daughter spends so much time with adults (you never mention any friends or play dates for your daughter) that it would be good for her to socialize with other children while she shops. Nope, you go right to the negative.
I can't make judgements about what kind of mother your EX is. It does sound like she could improve but who doesn't have room to improve. IMO your EX is simply not the kind of mother you want her to be.
You have an excuse for everything. Nobody wants to hear that you can't make ends meet and nobody suggested you go work at a fast food joint. But all the days you spend at the house could be used in a more productive fashion once the chores and errands are done. Why not volunteer? Why not take an internship to network? Certainly there are events in your city for networking opportunities. None of those things would jeopardize your unemployment and perhaps might open up more doors for you than an online job search can.
There are many men on this forum who handle the majority of the childcare duties and still appear to be social and active. Why not spend some time studying their threads and see how you can implement some of that in your life?
It seems each time someobody points out something about you, you ignore it then continue to share why it is all your EX's fault.
What would be the point in staying in a R for 10-15 years until your daughter grows up if you are unhappy. What sort of example does that set? A terrible one IMO.
