My Story...grass is greener (pt 3)

[MrBond]

"She has a right to be pissed at me...because I am unemployed? I sure as hell didnt choose to be unemployed...had therenot been a reduction in force I would still be working at my job now."

No it's a matter of perception. For one thing she wasn't pissed at you being unemployed. She saw you as a slacker just hanging around. It has nothing to do with money or work, it showed that you weren't doing anything and lacked any ambition to do something with your life. Ask any woman on here.

"She doesnt like to talk...it always ends up with her having me give in or else. And very few people like to live with someone who goes out all the time."

She didn't need to talk. It's pretty obvious. You needed to be a little more understanding. And besides, she wasn't going out all the time. It's just that you were home all the time, so when she wanted some time alone you bugged her about it. I can guarantee you that if you would have let her had a little bit of time alone and just told her something like "you need the day off. I'll take our D so you can do something for yourself." you wouldn't be here.

"No...if she wanted to spend her vacation doing whatever...thats fine...but its not an issue worth breaking up ones family over."

You're the one who made it an issue of breaking up the family. I bet you gave her a major guilt trip about it. Nobody likes living like that.

"Of course I guess all the nights she spent at the bar, or over at her friends house starting to cozy up to the OM, D3 and I were sitting there with her and she had not time to herself. I mean it isnt as if she spent every waking minute with either of us."

No but she didn't want to spend the time with you who would nag her, guilt her, etc. If you don't start realizing what YOU did wrong in the R, you're going to do the EXACT same things in your next R.

Start accepting responsibility for yourself and your own actions. Guilting her into going to C isn't going to work because that's what you've been doing during your whole R.

Start being a man and stand on your own rather than relying on your W or the State for your needs.

"And no...her doing things with D3 (or D1 as she was back then) wasnt for D3...she stook her places but not in the vein of spending quality time with her. Our daughter was like an accessory to her that she took places without regard to whether she needed to or should. Even now...she'll take D3 with her to the store...but instead of letting her ride in the cart as she shops, she drops her off at the kids center. If you're gonna do that, why even bring her?

That's her choice. And besides you don't know what they do by themselves anyway. If she took dropped her off at the kids center to play while she shopped, who cares? Maybe she just wanted to shop quicker.

And newsflash for you. Shopping with a toddler is NOT quality time. If you expect them to spend quality time while even shopping, you are confused.

At any rate, look where it's gotten you. Now she has your D half the time and you have NO control over what she does or who she does it with. Quite honestly, the more your story comes out, the more it shows why she did what she did. Start learning from that.