THanks ladies, as always. AS for next week? I got nothin'. The actually bomb day H will not be here, so that's a relief. But he will the day before and after. I'm more worried about H's reaction! He left me after a big fight, so he was the one angry enough to leave. I had a bout of depression yesterday, but I perked up after a couple hours. I'm dealing with it a bit at a time.
More good developments. It may sound trivial at first, but anyone who has read about my H, will see this is huge progress.
First, H shows up for usual Friday night dinner. He came in venting again about time constraints, and started getting irritated that I couldn't find the bottle opener. He would have yelled at me about this in the past, but he EXCUSED HIMSELF, WENT IN THE BACK ROOM, AND CAME BACK CALMER~ We not only had a lovely dinner, he lingered a bit!!! I also went to get the bottle opener from my neighbor's.
THis is huge, if you read my old thread, Fri night dinners used to be h*ll - he would show up stressed and in a hurry, yell at us most of the way through and then storm out.
SEcondly: I texted H last night re: computer stuff.(Been trying to get new computer to connect wirelessly, mysteriously not working). Well compare this interaction to last week's when we had a huge blow up over computer stuff:
I assumed H would either ignore my text as he was at his game, or would talk to me the next day.
HE CALLS ME AT 11:45PM! Calls= rare. Late night calls = unheardof.
He CALMLY takes 20 minutes to step by step guide me through few steps - and succuess! Computer connected!
This is huge. Usually, if he hadn't texted, he would have a) been irritated and told me to figure it out my self "like the rest of the world", b) been condescending and raise his voice, c) I would have asked him to speak nicer to me and we would have had a fight.
There was only one or two moments where he was "snappy" but not yelling so I did my part and ODP let it go! I'm working hard on not taking things as personal offense and with the two of us working like this things are soooooooooo much better! My son is much more calm too.
I feel this is a result of me standing up for myself recently, expressing myself in therapy, ODP, and lots of time and your support.
