Hi Lea, you H is partially correct in that the boys feelings about OW, is based on your feelings about her. The problem is, he shouldn't be suprised, I think that would happen in almost any marriage, especially one with the history that you and H have.
May I suggest now, you go dark, let all communication flow through attorneys. I would also agree that a therapist might be good for the boys. Be prepared to receive that your son's feelings are a reflection of your feelings. Again, who would be different? Your sons ADORE their mother.
I know that it is very dark right now and things don't look good. But I remain as hopeful as ever. Your marriage is going to turn around. Don't ask me how I know, I just know. For some reason, your situation has touched me. If it was not for you, I would not even come to this site anymore, nothing against this site, its been very helpful. Sometimes Lea,our problems are too big for us to handle, too complex for man's wisdom, too difficult to see the other side because of all your pain and suffering, and the only thing we can do is cry to our spiritual father.
God has heard your cries. He has placed your tears in his bottle, given you beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning,and the garment of praise for the feeling of heaviness.
By going dark, you are throwing up your hands and saying "GOD, handle this" The only success we(I'm in this with you), have had has been the times you went even partially dark. TRUST HIM LEA!! What do you have to lose at this point??
Miracles happen all the time. GOD is not a respecter of people, just a respecter of faith. Your marraige, my marriage, all the marriages of all the people on this board and the many boards like it throught out the world, matter to HIM!! WE really do matter. DIVORCES are at an epidemic. GOD wants to turn the tide, how can he not, when he invented marriage.
The bible says we only need a little faith. Find that little faith in you and don't let go, no matter what and watch your faith in HIM produce.
I am with you in spirit, I stand with you, I stand in the gap for you and your H until your faiths are strong.
