Db not working, MLC spouse pushing D

[kjensen]

I don't know if you've checked out my threads..but I've been there..right where you are. It really stinks and it really hurts-more than you imagine.

More distance might help. As much as you don't feel friendly-try to be, or at least don't share all of those ugly feelings of hurt with your H...that will make him think he's making the right choice..he's not.

I had to make alot of mental shifts once my H asked (the second time) and filed (this time)for divorce. I, too, believe in my marriage vows, and truly believed I would never get divorced..thought I would be a failure if I divorced...

Those are beliefs you'll need to examine-find out where they come from, if they are serving well...

DBing is for us, as Snodderly said. It was/is never about saving the marriage-although we all hope that will be our outcome..but MLC is a different animal than just typical marriage issues...DBing helps the LBSes... find ourselves, detach from unhealthy patterns, take a good objective look at that marriage relationship..all kinds of benefits to be found!

Focu on you, as much as you can...let go of the rope to your H a bit..detach as much as you can day-by-day...it really does get better and you WILL be OK, whether you end up divorced or not.

((HUGS))