Could it be?

[Upside]

Not much to update on. My H has been busy with his trial all week so we haven't seen that much of each other. He has spent several nights at my house and has called or texted everyday so that is positive. He will be coming over later today and possibly spending the rest of the weekend here...who knows! I've got plenty to do regardless of what he does.

His trial seems to be going well and coming to an end so it might be time for me to nudge him just a tiny little bit about moving back...I don't know.

HB-Thank you for the reassurance. It can be difficult to be patient sometimes.

What is different between now and that last time?

That is a good question. I do sense a difference...it is very slight and probably not noticable to anyone else but I do feel he is more certain of our relationship.

In my own experience, there came a time in this that I just let go, totally, moving right along, and almost forgot he was there...THAT was when he ended up walking on my heels(not in a literal sense), and startled me.

I have let go for the most part, living my life if he is with me or not. That is a good thing. I do find that my H doesn't seem to let me get too far away from him and that is reassuring for me. It would be nice to have him make some more movement toward coming home but I have to remind myself that he needs to do this when HE is ready.

This is point that I need to get to, which is hard. Your an inspiration sweetie...an inspiration. Your strength oozes from your posts.

eric, it is nice to hear that I am an inspiration to someone but just know I was where you are. I didn't understand how in the world my M fell apart. I thought we had a pretty good M. I knew my H loved me. If I hadn't found this place, I would have long been divorced. This place has helped me find empathy, understanding and patience (although I'm still working on that). This place has helped me see that I'm not the source of my H's problems although I need to continually work on making me a better person. This place has helped me recognize that there have been many people in my life (including my first H who married the OW) that have been in crisis. They made bad choices, blamed other people for their problems and some even came regret their actions later on.

You will find your way through this. It isn't always easy and we don't always get the outcome that we are hoping for but this journey forces you to grow and become stronger. You will get there just keep putting one foot in front of the other. Before you know it, you will be able to look back and see how far you have come.