Db not working, MLC spouse pushing D

[foreverhesaid]

So a few weeks have gone by and there was no further mention of divorce. I had started some new projects around the house that kept me busy. Not that I asked him to help, but he is very controlling and somehow I always found he had to be around to give me advice on how to hang wallpaper, etc. AT one time he even asked me if these changes had anything to do with 'us and whats going on'. I didn't know how to reply to that, doesn't everything pertain to us? Anyway, two day ago when taking a break after painting a bathroom he asked to talk to me.

What came out was 'you have to let me go." He claims that he loves me, but can no longer be my husband. He even said 'I'm not the man you married." No kidding, the guy I married I never thought would be a liar or commit adultery or do all of the other crazy MLC things that have occured.

He says that he has been researching different types of divorce in our state, and he wants to do whatever will get him out the quickest. Supposedly in NY there is some sort of mutually agreed upon divorce where you just sign papers, use a lawyer to file and basically divy up the assets as you agree upon. He sent me an email listing websites talking about this type of divorce.

Having this thrust in my face definitely set me way back. I know we're not supposed to show emotion, but somehow I just couldn't keep myself together and broke down sobbing. I've managed to get through the days since then but I certainly feel like I'm in a hole.

How do I DB from here? I feel like there is only so much I can do to delay the inevitable. Do I try to pull way back and give him even more space? He just seems eager to get away from me as quick as possible. Some things he said make no sense. During the talk he even said "you're my best friend and even after we're divorced I don't want to be adversarial. I still want to be able to call you and maybe go out to lunch if I'm in town." As if I want to exchange my husband for a casual lunch date. He indicated that 'once things are settled' he plans on moving in with OW who lives on the other end of the state. Then before I went to bed he kissed me on the cheek and gave me a hug, he hasn't shown any spontaneous affection towards me for months that I can remember.

I don't want a divorce, I don't believe in it and I take my marriage vows very seriously. I guess I need some encouragement. I like me, I like my GAL stuff and I know that I can survive this - I just didn't want to give up entirely and let him go. Am I perhaps prolonging his MLC by attempting to save us?