I wanted to add that the therapist told me that her approach would be to confront my W and say to her "if your going to stay start making it work, if not start the moving on process, enough of games" her theory is the more positive change I make the more resentment my wife will have because it will force her to change as well and right now she is comfortable with being angry with me. The more "180s" I make the more my W will think "He was not like this before and now he want to change" therefor causing more resent toward me....I don't like her approach to say the least.
Oh, sure. Always better to be a COMPLETE JACKASS, and of no redeeming social value. That way they won't feel pressured by any actual, you know, HUMAN CIVIL BEHAVIOR.
