Amazing what something like a hair cut will do for the PMA isn't it? so important to keep up with those things for ourselves when healing from all this. Good job managing the anxiety! ((LR))
H4L H was encouraging me to go ride madam and obviously I was a bit hesitant. I was able to explain that it used to be my sanctuary but because I owe my dear yard owner money I don't feel so comfortable, so I don't waste petrol popping in for a cuddle and have to be careful to show I'm not wasting money else where, he still doesn't know my friend is not just helping ride but contributing to costs, but of course that means her helping means I can't do things so easily. Probably didn't all make sense but he realised it's not the same for me and it's not easy. He was sympathetic but I could do with more empathy, some how at some point he needs to feel how I feel or am I expecting to much to ever get him to acknowledge my hurts?
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W 47 H 47 M 24 T 30
Once lost but now found and happily married again!
Expecting too much? I think you don't expect enough my dear. I am glad he was empathetic to you when you told him. But you are still keeping a lot from him. Give him a chance to be there for you now.
I'm sure it will take a long time to trust after he left you and all - but try it little by little. You shared some of your experience and he responded lovingly so try a little more next time. This will help decrease the build up of anxiety that leads you know where ....ODPland!
I hope the money and H job situation improves soon, so you can get your full access to Madam back. It seems like such a good stress reliever for you. I think he's going to be able to acknowledge your hurts more after he is employed, frankly. He needs to save face now to keep his esteem up over what he did and the trouble he caused and the fact that he doesn't have a job back yet. With the job might come the esteem boost to let his denial down and be more empathetic. You deserve it!
Sometimes I think these men have such fragile egos that no matter what they put us through, they don't want to hear it or admit it! If they only knew that would make them seem MORE like men, not less than in our eyes!
RR I think you have hit the nail on the head, he is under enough stress job hunting so I don't want to add to it fufilling my needs!
Things are so much better, bearing in mind we have spent a lot of time together over the last five weeks. It's back to being team rabbit, even joked that when he's got a job I can have my earnings back, I got pardon in a cheeky manner which was nice it always used to be our money but during sep we had to many refs to his money, and it seems it ours again although we have plans to change it round so we have some personal money!
H got a call from an agency Friday please please let this go some where!
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W 47 H 47 M 24 T 30
Once lost but now found and happily married again!
I"ve been rooting for the job hunt all the way - still with you! You got through a real test having been together so intensely after being apart for so long. And with only one income. Seriously if you two can get through that without fighting, you can get through darn near anything, I think!
