Do NOT apologize for reading the email. Do NOT ARGUE your case for reading it.
"Everything I do, I do to save our marriage and family"
And you walk away.
Now. You need to go to OM's house, you go there as OFTEN as you CAN... you make a PEST of yourself. Do NOT aggravate OM's wife, she is a HUGE ALLY here.
You show up to their house, you be KIND and SYMPATHETIC TO his wife, she's dealing with eveyrthing you are and likely more.
You sit down with the two of them and you tell them that you have a marriage you want to save and that OM's involvement is doing DAMAGE to that marriage AND to his own household as well.
You tell the two of them that it is best if he does NOT make ANY attempt to contact your wife AT ALL. Tell him that time is best invested into saving his own marriage, NOT in destroying yours.
If you have kids, you take those pictures out and you SHOW them the pictures.
You tell them you love your wife and you are NOT going to stand by and watch him attack your home and ruin your family.
You tell them you will be making regular calls and visits to check in on them and any help you can be to help those two work on their marriage as a COUPLE you will be happy to do.
Tell them you wish them the best in thier marriage and that you do NOT want OM ANYWHER NEAR your wife again.
You make it VERY clear you will protect your wife and your family and he is a THREAT to that and to LEAVE your FAMILY ALONE.
NO GIFTS NO PHONE CALLS NO EMAIL NO CONTAACT at ALL
His wife should be on side with this as well.
Tell his wife and OM that its best if he shares his cell phone records with his wife for the time being to ensure that both families are kept safe and no further damage is done.
You get in the OM's FACE as MUCH as you CAN...
I don't know how he will react, so you will have to play this a bit by ear. He may laugh at you, he may be scared crapless...
But you EXPOSE this WHOLE MESS right in his HOME with his WIFE RIGHT THERE.
