Question

[awest1217]

I am doing much better. I went to the youth rally and talked to some friends so that was nice. H has text me 3 times just saying "i love you". Nothing else. I sent one back the first time saying "i love you too. have a safe trip". I have not responded at all the rest of the time. There is nothing to say. I feel he is just wanting to prolong this more. He wants to keep this separation going so he can ignore and hang out with me when he feels like it and OW when her H is out of town. No more. I gave him clear cut choices and he chose his parents. I am going to pack his stuff tomorrow and asked him to pick it up by next Friday since he will be out of town until Wednesday.

I am going to plan on filing over spring break. I really don't want to go through a divorce, but my situation even with DBing has really had no real break throughs. We have been on this same wheel over and over. We get really close to one another then he says he still does not know what to do because he wants to still be friends with OW and then we don't talk for a week. Nothing has ever changed. This is the change I need. I deserve better than always being with a guy who won't take time to spend with his S or truly committ to me.

Tomorrow packing, grocery shopping, park with nephew sister and S...and much more. I am feeling good about my decision.

One thing H said today that made me think is I said I would give him until Wednesday and he said he didn't want another ambiguous deadline over his head, but a few minutes before said he didn't know what he wanted to do. I feel bad for him because he is so messed up.

I just keep thinking I deserve a guy who will completely committ to me. I always try to leave (I had done this many times while dating and being engaged), but H always said but I love you and I want to be with you so I would stay for nothing to change. I need to stick with this because he is never going to change what he does to me anyway. I deserve better.