Affairs & staying married: author of Julie&Julia

[knittedscarff]

Here's a link from the author of Julie & Julia about the affairs she had in her marriage and how she and her husband worked through them (they reconciled).

It's an interesting read, and I think it honestly helps to read about the genuine pleasures that the cheating spouse experiences, such as the secrecy and hiding.

But for people who are hoping their marriages will recover from it, it seems like a sweet explanation of what they had to do to recommit to each other.

Julie & Julia author on affairs & rebuilding marriage



It's easy, and perhaps correct, to criticise contemporary marriage as being built, unrealistically, on the idea that one person can fulfil all your needs – as lover, co-parent and best friend – for all time. But, she says now, that's where we are today.

Once there was a world of arranged unions and marriage as politics and finance; now, in a world of sexual independence, relative gender equality and an increasingly frayed social fabric, we have marriage as intimacy. "It's a double bind," Kipnis says. "Adultery is more of an issue now, because we are closer."

In my case, divorce was the better option for me and the girls after my husband's affair, but I completely understand why people would choose to stay married. I like the way she's honest about the pain & pleasure of the whole process. Maybe this may help some people.

And I loved the movie Julie and Julia (but more of the Julia part, bon appetit!)

[mrbt]

Thank you for sharing this.