4) He lacks empathy and doesn't feel things for other people like he should. He is completely selfish and he cannot help it. Told me how great I have treated him and he was never able to treat me the way that I should be treated
Here's a quick test that might help you determine if your H has an addiction or is just selfish.
--> Did he ever do anything for the other woman, the one he was fooling around with, that made her life easier but made your life or your H's life harder?
If the answer is yes, then he's selfish. If the answer is no, then he has an addiction. An addiction is a disease, so he wouldn't discriminate based on who he's around.
He'd treat you and her equally. Like dirt.
its like someone who has diabetes. They don't stop having diabetes because they are in a grocery store, in the hospital, or driving their care. A disease is constant and doesn't change.
Selfishness is doing what benefits him. If he felt bad that he might hurt the other woman's feelings or he wants to be 'nice" to her, then you have your answer. He has empathy. It exists, he just has to choose it.
He just might not have empathy for you. Trust me, I *know* that's a hard statement to swallow. But in this case, it has nothing to do with you; there's nothing that you did that drove him to another woman.
Obviously, based on what the answer is the direction you'll need to take to reconcile.
