Your H is going to act like an a$$clown no matter who sends it, so let your lawyer do your dirty work. Then play the, "I'm sorry you feel that way; have your lawyer talk to mine. I'm done talking about it," card.
You are paying lots of money for your lawyer, so take his advice. And when your H acts like who he is (AKA, a giant jerkwad), you just ignore the phone calls and voicemails BECAUSE THEY'RE NOT ABOUT YOU, THEY'RE ABOUT HIM. Turn over anything threatening or abusive to your lawyer, because he will know how to use it to back him off or at least use it to your advantage to get what you want.
This is business, cut and dried. Get what you deserve and what will allow you to raise your children. He deserves NO consideration; what consideration has he shown you since he left? Did he care you were homeless or without a car? Not so much.
Time to look out for YOU and the kidlets. He's so smart, let him look out for his own self.
SD
Me: 40 H: 43 H had EA from 2/06-9/06 Bomb 5/06 Piecing since 9/2006 3/2008: Boundary setting 7/2009: Boundary crossing~dropped my own bomb. 8/2010: Marriage finally on track!
