Me: 44, Wife: 39 M: 17 years T: 20 years Bomb on 08/25/09 1/13/10: MC started 1/28/10, 2/8/10: More bombs 8/28/10: Wife moved out No talk of D, no movement
Serenity - I agree w/Miss Blunt, probably because I am, too! LoL
Let your L handle the "this is what I want" stuff. If you are so inclined, just let him know that you'll be filing! (Make sure you're wearing heels when you write it, too. Heels make me feel empowered!)
Done!
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13
After many years w/my head in the sand... I FILED Divorced 6/2011
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
(Make sure you're wearing heels when you write it, too. Heels make me feel empowered!)
That's so funny that's what Puppy swears by too!
I'm giving it a try now.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
Serenity, First, why send it at all? Second, does your L approve? Third, my thoughts:
H
After a year the time has come ...I am filing for a divorce. Below are the stipulations I have...If we can come to some sort of agreement agree, then we can file this uncontested...Please let me your Lawyer know what stipulations you have/don't agree with/want to change so I may let my lawyer knowyour positions on these stipulations and provide a response to my L.. I am being represented by X Name/X Firm, X address.
S is old enough to decide to see me or not...While I would prefer he did, I am not pushing it at this time however I am leaving that option open.Due to older S's age, I'm sure the court will strongly consider his preference in deciding his living/visitation agreements.
Younger S needs his father - his fathers time - so I insist upon his visitatiion consisting of at least 2 full weekends a month, 3 weeks in the summer, major holidays every other year. This is non-negotiable.
I wantwill have the first right of refusal whenever you have youngest S.
In lieu of my requesting my rightful spousal support I would like myI'll accept your continuing to provide my health and dental to be carried through xxxxxxx...I will of course be responsible for co-payments (deductibles?)pay any co-payment and any work that needs to be done.as well as required paperwork submissions, etc.
Naturally, you will continue to provide medical and dental coverage for your sons.You carry the medical and dental for the boys as well andCo-payments and other related out-of-pocket expenses will be shared equitably.
I keep my military ID and 1/2 your retirement.This is a given in almost all cases.Leave it out. Why p!ss him off? It will be better coming from his lawyer when the time comes.
Child support for S will be set within the court of course will be mandated by the court.
If S comes back to live with me, I reserve the right to refile for child support to include him.
TMI/TOO SOON**Any extra-curricular activities for the boys will be split evenly.
You have numerous things in storage so please let me know how you want to deal with that. Time and date to clean it out would be fine.
I am not sure how you want to divide everything up so please let me know this as well.
At the beginning of the school year, by August 1st, I ask for a set $300.00 a year to help with school clothes.
I want us to each carry a life insurance policy for no less then $500,000.00 and the other party is the beneficiary...If something happens to either one of us, the other has enough to take care of the boys safely and without worry.
I am leaving the option open to add or subtract from this based on your response.
Sincerely,
Me
Now, Serenity, having given my (unprofessional) thoughts above. I strongly suggest you not send this. It is allTMI/TOO SOON I think your Lawyer should simply have him served. That should be your opening salvo: To let him know you are divorcing him. The rest can and should come later. From your lawyer. To his lawyer. That's what they are for.
(((Serenity))) [/quote]
Agree with Gardener. There's a reason that they put that little "v" in between the names of the parties; at this point, it's -- by definition -- adversarial (as it should be, in the legal sense).
Serenity, First, why send it at all? Second, does your L approve? Third, my thoughts:
H
After a year the time has come ...I am filing for a divorce. Below are the stipulations I have...If we can come to some sort of agreement agree, then we can file this uncontested...Please let me your Lawyer know what stipulations you have/don't agree with/want to change so I may let my lawyer knowyour positions on these stipulations and provide a response to my L.. I am being represented by X Name/X Firm, X address.
S is old enough to decide to see me or not...While I would prefer he did, I am not pushing it at this time however I am leaving that option open.Due to older S's age, I'm sure the court will strongly consider his preference in deciding his living/visitation agreements.
Younger S needs his father - his fathers time - so I insist upon his visitatiion consisting of at least 2 full weekends a month, 3 weeks in the summer, major holidays every other year. This is non-negotiable.
I wantwill have the first right of refusal whenever you have youngest S.
In lieu of my requesting my rightful spousal support I would like myI'll accept your continuing to provide my health and dental to be carried through xxxxxxx...I will of course be responsible for co-payments (deductibles?)pay any co-payment and any work that needs to be done.as well as required paperwork submissions, etc.
Naturally, you will continue to provide medical and dental coverage for your sons.You carry the medical and dental for the boys as well andCo-payments and other related out-of-pocket expenses will be shared equitably.
I keep my military ID and 1/2 your retirement.This is a given in almost all cases.Leave it out. Why p!ss him off? It will be better coming from his lawyer when the time comes.
Child support for S will be set within the court of course will be mandated by the court.
If S comes back to live with me, I reserve the right to refile for child support to include him.
TMI/TOO SOON**Any extra-curricular activities for the boys will be split evenly.
You have numerous things in storage so please let me know how you want to deal with that. Time and date to clean it out would be fine.
I am not sure how you want to divide everything up so please let me know this as well.
At the beginning of the school year, by August 1st, I ask for a set $300.00 a year to help with school clothes.
I want us to each carry a life insurance policy for no less then $500,000.00 and the other party is the beneficiary...If something happens to either one of us, the other has enough to take care of the boys safely and without worry.
I am leaving the option open to add or subtract from this based on your response.
Sincerely,
Me
Now, Serenity, having given my (unprofessional) thoughts above. I strongly suggest you not send this. It is allTMI/TOO SOON I think your Lawyer should simply have him served. That should be your opening salvo: To let him know you are divorcing him. The rest can and should come later. From your lawyer. To his lawyer. That's what they are for.
(((Serenity)))
Agree with Gardener. There's a reason that they put that little "v" in between the names of the parties; at this point, it's -- by definition -- adversarial (as it should be, in the legal sense).
Puppy [/quote]
ditto
Flowers always make people better, happier, and more helpful; they are sunshine, food and medicine for the soul. unconditional love is awesome!
Your H is going to act like an a$$clown no matter who sends it, so let your lawyer do your dirty work. Then play the, "I'm sorry you feel that way; have your lawyer talk to mine. I'm done talking about it," card.
You are paying lots of money for your lawyer, so take his advice. And when your H acts like who he is (AKA, a giant jerkwad), you just ignore the phone calls and voicemails BECAUSE THEY'RE NOT ABOUT YOU, THEY'RE ABOUT HIM. Turn over anything threatening or abusive to your lawyer, because he will know how to use it to back him off or at least use it to your advantage to get what you want.
This is business, cut and dried. Get what you deserve and what will allow you to raise your children. He deserves NO consideration; what consideration has he shown you since he left? Did he care you were homeless or without a car? Not so much.
Time to look out for YOU and the kidlets. He's so smart, let him look out for his own self.
SD
Me: 40 H: 43 H had EA from 2/06-9/06 Bomb 5/06 Piecing since 9/2006 3/2008: Boundary setting 7/2009: Boundary crossing~dropped my own bomb. 8/2010: Marriage finally on track!
