Glad you posted over here...there's alot of traffic here and in Newcomers- this is where I should have been posting from the start...
Aside from wanting a D, what else has your W said? My guess is not too much...if that's the case- you CANNOT ask her and whatever she says will be NEGATIVE, HURTFUL, and mostly UNTRUE- epecially if its minimizing her R w/ OM.
EVERYTHING from here on will be about YOU and YOUR actions. NEVER REACT- if you feel like reacting it will be the WRONG THING TO DO.
Even when you think there's that ONE thing you can say to help matters- IT WILL NOT HELP...from here on out it's about your ACTIONS- its VERY SIMPLE- but hard as hell to do.
You need to be patient, do NOT stress her out w/ texts, phone calls, questions, DO NOT PURSUE her...BE THE BEST DAD YOU CAN BE- and keep focused on small goals.
If she sucks you in to R talk, ONLY LISTEN and VALIDATE- do not use logic or try to convince her of anything- ANYTHING.
OMW is aware of the sitch? You have spoken to her before? Keep everything to yourself, build a case- and like I said- EXPECT to be lied to.
Try to consult w/ Allen and Puppy about exposure...
Are there any plans for a FT or MC? If not start researching good ones...make your first appt for yourself.
Do not tell W to be hopeful, do not ask her to come to MC, unless she has previously mentioned it or brings it up.
SET AN EXAMPLE and TAKE ACTION to be the best person you can be for yourself.
Work your 180s and understand this is going to be VERY UNFAIR- you are going to be doing 99 percent of the work and you can't complain about it.
I'm off to a movie, I'll add more later tonight.
Be positive and try to detach so that your temper and patience dont wear.
Here for you...
If you want to see what not to do...read my sitch
Heck read as many sitches as you can to see what to expect...all is not lost, hang in there
