Struggling with Hope

[Bworl]

I can't think why she would confront you, unless she found evidence of you snooping at least.


I'm torn on this. Interested to see what some of the others have to say. I was turned upside down and inside out when I first discovered that my then wife, who had only ever been with me (and I with her) had pursued and bedded another man. Eric, I know EXACTLY what you're feeling inside I think, as do, I'm sure, many others on here.


I can only tell you that at this moment in time, nothing you could say would make your wife feel the slightest twinge of guilt. In her mind she has rationalized her actions many times over. In her mind she is completely justified in everything she is doing. Again I say, you CANNOT make her feel guilty, even if you wanted to.


Add to that this - you can't convince her she's done anything wrong either. In her mind you are already divorced because (and you all chime in and let me know if you've ever heard this one) in her mind, "we were divorced long ago."



Now here's where I'm afraid that I won't help you much - here's where I am hoping others will chime in.


I think she needs to leave. And I think she needs to leave soon. If you know for certain that she is sleeping with another man, and if you have pretty good reason to believe that it is active and continuing, I'm of the mind that she simply should not be in the house anymore.



It's just wrong to me. Her staying there is like making you complicit in her actions. It's like she receives further justification and permission because she still gets to stay in the house and play married.



So come on everyone. Chime in and set me straight. I freely admit that this is my weak area. I have no tolerance for someone who sleeps in my bed, eats our food, and gives their body to another person on a regular basis.


In all honesty, I would be inclined to pack her things and set them outside the front door.



Blessings and my apologies if I've only made this harder,


Bill