My Wife And Her Emotional Affair

[ken5140]

My wife and I have been married for 12 years and we have two beautiful daughters ages 7 and 3. I thought things were going well, but about 8 months ago, she began an emotional affair with a married man from our church who usually does not work during the day. While I have been off working, she has been spending hours with him on the phone and also going to parks and other places with him during the day, including his house with the excuse that they wanted to get the kids together to play. We homeschool and so do they. He would also fix things around our house.

About a year and a half ago, he started a friendship with my wife (supposedly because he suffers depression and since my wife has a degree in psychology, he thought she could help him). But after awhile he seemed to be putting some moves on my wife, such as making an effort to hug her (while I was at work), taking her and the kids to Olive Garden and sitting by her (while I was at work), taking her and the kids to Jumping Jacks and going down the slide with her (while I was at work). At the time, she was not that attracted to him and we both agreed that all this should stop. We informed him, and for a time, it did stop. But like a moth around the flame, he gradually returned to his old ways and apparently my wife started to fall for him.

One day I came home and he was sitting right next to my wife on our backyard swing. They admitted that they were sitting a little close when I expressed my concern about it. One evening about two weeks ago, after my older daughter told me the man had come over by himself that day (he usually brought his boy to play), I called his house and got his wife. She seemed to be in denial that anything was going on between her husband and my wife and kept saying, "I have to trust him." After I got off the phone, my wife said that she was going to a park for awhile when it was taking her a long time, I called the man's wife again and discovered that her husband was visiting with my wife to try to work out the problem. That evening when she finally got home, she suggested we get a divorce and said she had feelings for him that she never had for me. I was devastated. I had a few arguments with her about it. I thought I had convinced her to give me a month and to not communicate with him for awhile. But apparently she was still communicating with him.

I then discovered this website. The next morning, I stayed home from work (with the excuse that my younger daughter had a cold), and of course the other man called. I answered the phone and he said he had forgotten my wife's birthday and wanted to bring her a present. I said we'd pick it up in church on the weekend and that he should lay off for awhile. I acted that day like things were fine and I played with the kids and helped my older daughter with her schoolwork. Later my wife called him back and I overheard part of the discussion. It sounded like he was trying to get her to run off with him because my wife kept saying things like, "No, I could never do that to my kids and my husband and your family." Currently I fear that she continues to communicate with him and possibly even meet with him. What do I do to fix this mess? I love my wife dearly and want her back, heart and soul.

I posted this in the WAW section of this forum and have been getting advice and help from people there. I thought things were getting better lately, but now my wife and the OM are communicating again by email and telling each other how much they still love and miss each other. I'm at my wits end for what to do. Please help!