Oh and I forgot to post the good news - need to keep that PMA!
Last night I returned from rehearsal and we were both tired. H launches into how stressed he is and his to do list is neverending, etc etc. (he works for himself). I tried to listen and validate, but it was pushing a button, so I verbalized, "When you say how stressed your life is, I feel I need to do something to make it better for you. THis is totally my issue, though. I just wish I could help." H:" I don't expect you to do anything about it, it's not your problem." Me:" Ok, are you wanting me just to listen?" H:"I"m just venting I guess." ME:"I get worried when you are stressed out." H:"I'll try not to take it out on you." Me:"That's part of it, but I worry about you too."
I offered some advice about what I do when I'm overwhelmed - take a half hour or so to just close my eyes and rest - a cat nap or meditation. He seemed interested in that.
IT was good - I owned my urge to fix him, and he owned that he's going to try not to take his stress out on us.
IT's no romance, but it's a far cry from last year when he would come home and yell at everyone because he was so stressed out. We both owned our own issues. Seems positive.
