Next steps

[flowmom]

Aver, I think you're like me...my friends often laugh when I am talking about how my misery because I can sometimes manage to find the humour in my ridiculous wallowing. It doesn't mean that your pain and distress isn't totally real. But your humour proves is the healthy part of you rebelling against the idea that you are doomed to misery forever.

I've started reading this book that Gardener and hoosiermama suggested to me. It's hard to read but probably just what the Dr ordered:

The Journey from Abandonment to Healing

I think you're approaching your sitch from the wrong end. You are trying to figure out IF and HOW you can be OK with him having the house, OW taking over what should be YOUR life, etc. Those are not the right questions for you right now, IMO.

You need to get back to YOU and your grief process. Work the detachment exercises, read the above book and do those exercises, keep doing The Work. Every time you have those thoughts, think of them as reminders to do your grief work. Yes, it's miserable drudgery. But it's better than stabbling yourself with sharp things.

I believe that if you do your grief work, thoughts about your H and OW will not have the same power to hurt you. And you will be able to envision a new life for yourself where the activities of H/OW are irrelevant.

(((Aver)))