My UFO (unbelievably fabulous observations)

[hoosiermama]

I'm really not one of those people who can't say no in general. it's just in romantic relationships that I subvert my own needs--and don't even realize I'm doing it until I can look back at it. and it seems I'll put up with almost any crap behavior from an intimate partner as long as it starts out normally.

I understand. I'm not that way with everybody, in every area of life. Just friends, family. Loved ones.
But that's more than enough to need to finally address it, take it on.

I think the main reason I'm like this in intimate relationships is my general lack of attachments. I've finally realized I'm not neurotic, that we have a need to feel attached to others, and my life has had intervals (including now) with very limited attachments and connections. I've long been aware that almost every mistake I've ever made relationally has been because of this. It's not a fear of being alone as I once thought--it's not having that basic need of feeling connected being met. And while I'm working on that, it just isn't happening very quickly at all.