The other thing I am confused about is there are certain situations that I dont know what to do. I am going to use the following as an example but things like this happen on a weekly basis. I also would like to add that I work 50+ hours a week and I also own a business (two jobs). My husband works 4 days a week (at night) for a total of 20 hours a week:
Made appointment for the dog to get a haircut and have yearly checkup. I asked husband if I dropped off dog in the morning if he could pickup from hari appt and take to vet appt (my husband works at night, I made appt for 2pm - I work during the day - since he is home I figure he can pick her up so I dont have to take off work). Anyway, he agrees.
The day of the appt comes and I wake up extra early to get her to her hair appt. I come home and start working (I work from home). At 1:45pm husband is still not awake (this is very typcial, now that I dont "bother" him he sleep or stays in our bedroom until 4 or 5pm); however he knew the dog had an appt . I ended up going up and waking him up and askinghim if was still planning to pick her up. He was late the appt but he got her. It just makes me so angry. Am I not even supposed to ask him to do things with 180? Should I have just gone to get the dog? He is just so lazy.
Another example: We had to have our carpets clean because my dog is not well housetrained. We are both to blame but it especially annoys me because my husband will just sleep all day and not take her out and she will go all over the carpets. Anyway, I set up the appt. I had to work very late the night before they were suppsoed to come (until around 11am). I asked him if he could vacuum while I was at work, pick up the dog poop under our bed (lovely, I know) becuase I wouldnt have time to do it before the carpet people came. I come home from work that night and he literally vacuumed a strip of carpet i our bedroom - our dog had recently destoyed a feather pillow and there were feathers still all under the bead, etc. Dog poop was still not picked up. due to 180 I did not say anything and proceeded to clean until 1am so our carpets could be cleaned. Is that what I should have done?
Does anyone understand now what I mean when I say I feel lik I'm being walked all over. I feel like with 180 I am just not supposed to say anything. But honestly I'm so sick of this [censored] - it happens all the time .
Is it your dog or his dog? He cares very little about this dog based on your posts while you show a great deal of care for this dog.
Do you expect him to care about the dog? What if he can't? What if he won't?
Vacuuming dog poop that is under a bed is another story altogether. Seriously how long has that poop been under the bed? If the dog isn't housetrained, bring him somewhere, maybe obedience school and get the dog trained, if you can invest in dog haircuts and the vet, you can invest in house training the dog so that it doesn't poop inside. If you won't pay for the training, whose responsibility is it to train the dog, clean up after it, etc. Here's another question, why not just let the dog stay out during the day and bring him in at night? Wouldn't that mean less dog poop and dog pee on the carpets and a cleaner home?
Another thing to consider, you setup the appointment too early to get your carpets cleaned and couldn't find time to vacuum the home.
I know, you're going to say, what about my husband, what does he get to do? Nothing, plain & simple. He has already retreated inside of a shell and doesn't want too much to do with you, do you see that but you keep trying to involve him in chores and responsibilities and that won't work. You can continue doing what you're doing but you would do better to just observe reality, reality works, follow reality, reality doesn't lie.
If this guy was always like this since Day 1, you have a decision to make. Either accept that he's like this and live with him for the rest of your life all disappointed and angry and resentful and boy oh boy that sounds like fun (I'm obviously sarcastic) or you can let him go, file for divorce or separation and go live a single life without him in your home and without him bothering you with his laziness and lack of effort.
