So here we go again, when my WH left to see OW last week he said that he would be back on Friday (today). My D16 just told me that he texted her (1st time in a week) and mentioned that he will be back on Sunday or maybe Monday. Didn't bother to inform me - his business partner.
Last month when he went to see OW same thing happened; he told me (after I discovered that he was gone) that he will be back in a few days and ended up gone for more then 2 weeks. I really don't know what to do about continuing our business. Business is at stand still every time he leaves, no new jobs, we can't pay our suppliers and all he cares about is HIM, while saying "don't worry business will improve, I'll work hard". WHEN???? Well another month has passed and nothing is changing we are just getting deeper and deeper into our business line of credit.
Why are people in MLC so disillusional. He just sees what he wants to see, has no grasp of reality and doesn't see the consequences of his actions. I do my part in business, but I can't do HIS. I can't just be sitting here waiting until it all collapses and it will; if it continues like this. I can't rely on his empty promises.
Last edited by Mila; 03/12/1007:13 PM.
M53 H54 D17 M33Y T38Y Bomb OW 09/09 OUT 10/09 BACK 11/09 OUT 01/10 WANTS TO R 04/10 BACK with OW 05/10 Wants to Reconcile 05/11 I said NO
A) Let it continue as is and hope for the best. Have another heart-to-heart with him and see if I can get through
B) Leave the business and get a job Consequence: Business will go under Have to sell the house pay 1/2 of (six figure) business debt Get blamed for "ruining the business" no support from WH (no income)
C) Get a full time job while I continue doing my part for the business (Evenings and weekends) If WH doesn't shape up it will collapse anyway if he does shape up it just may survive. Not sure if I can handle it. The pressure of new full time job commuting downtown (not many opportunities in my suburb) and trying to save the business and taking care of everything else he left up to me... including D16...
M53 H54 D17 M33Y T38Y Bomb OW 09/09 OUT 10/09 BACK 11/09 OUT 01/10 WANTS TO R 04/10 BACK with OW 05/10 Wants to Reconcile 05/11 I said NO
Do you believe, in the current economy, that if your husband was working harder that things would be better for the company?
I think there may be an option D......but I don't know what field your in specifically and how it has been affected by the economy....but I do have an option D to offer based on your answer.
Thanks Jack, I really value your no-nonsense input, It makes me think... Right now there is no easy answer and no easy way out. Still thinking...
Thanks for stoping by Lostforwords I'm very curious what do you have in mind as plan D
Originally Posted By: Lostforwords
Mila, Do you believe, in the current economy, that if your husband was working harder that things would be better for the company?
It would definitely give us a fighting chance. The economy is a factor - no doubt. However we've been in this business for over 20 years and went through economic downturns more then once and it was though at times but we pulled together and we made it. Now his heart is not in it, we are not a "team" and he has different "priorities" (OW).
Originally Posted By: Lostforwords
Mila, I think there may be an option D......but I don't know what field your in specifically and how it has been affected by the economy....but I do have an option D to offer based on your answer.
It's an the field of "Corporate Communications" & "IT Services".
M53 H54 D17 M33Y T38Y Bomb OW 09/09 OUT 10/09 BACK 11/09 OUT 01/10 WANTS TO R 04/10 BACK with OW 05/10 Wants to Reconcile 05/11 I said NO
Stay with me on this. One of things I have learned in my short corporate life is that there are two types of business people;
Reactive-managers who react to the environment around them
Proactive-Leaders who define the environment around them
What I see in options a, b, & c is reactive behavior to the business situation. In all...each option is viable. The major indicator of reactive behavior being in two of the options you point out the source of the problem instead of fixing the problem. The question then is what would a proactive business person do?
So instead of focusing on reacting to the problem...let's address the problem. I am assuming that basic setup of the company is your husband handles a majority of the technical issues and marketing. You in turn seem to be the bookkeeper, some marketing, etc....so basically you are the boss and he is the worker bee.
So we know that the problems has two causes;
1-The economy 2-Your business associate
The economy- Use Warren Buffet as a model. The man is making more now then in a good economy. Why? Because he is creating his own economy and proactively looking for solutions as opposed to blaming everyone else. So how can you control the economy? Is it conceivable for you to start marketing new clients yourself more aggressively? Is it possible for you to begin developing relationships with existing clients? what new markets are there for you to investigate?
The associate-Well it probably isn't feasible for you to replace him (but a thought non the less for you...think outside the box)..so you are stuck. So let's evaluate him as an employee. what part of his responsibilities would be the harder for you to do. Say he programs and you don't. What parts of his responsibilities can you do...say build new client relationships. Now you will know what of his you can and cannot do....then hire someone who can do the parts you cannot do (new partner maybe) because the market is flooded with IT people at the moment. If he objects....just note the recent downturn in business. Note that what needs to be done isn't being done good enough.
Basically I am describing;
Quote:
A) Let it continue as is and hope for the best. Have another heart-to-heart with him and see if I can get through
Except you aren't letting it proceed "as-is"...you are taking control of your won business destiny. Also no heart to heart.....there is very little room in business for the heart.
What I describe above might not be do able....but you won't know that until you investigate the possibilities.
I know Jack, when life doesn't give us a choice our survival instinct has to take over and you do things you never thought you could. Didn't think that this is where I'll be at 52 - maybe starting over from scratch. It sucks...
Also if I work 24/7 what kind of a parent can I be? I know that my daughter is 16, so she is more independent of me than if I had a small child. But If I work 24/7 she is pretty much on her own...and that worries me
M53 H54 D17 M33Y T38Y Bomb OW 09/09 OUT 10/09 BACK 11/09 OUT 01/10 WANTS TO R 04/10 BACK with OW 05/10 Wants to Reconcile 05/11 I said NO
