I am no expert but I would shorten it, give him less leeway and be more matter of fact.

Dear H,

I have decided to file for divorce. If you agree on all matters we will be able to file an uncontested divorce. If we are unable to agree I have decided to turn all remaining matters over to my legal counsel.

S has reached the age where he can decide if he chooses to see me or not. While I will not push the issue I would like to leave the door open for future visits.

I am seeking full custody of son with two weekends per month, 3 weeks per summer and alternating holidays allocated to you.

I seek first right of refusal when you have youngest S.

In lieu of spousal support I seek full dental and medical coverage for 10,000 years ( smile ). While the cost of the policy will be your responsibility I will be responsible for co-pays.

NOTE: Are you SURE you want to waive spousal support?

I seek full medical/dental coverage for the children at your expense. All co-pays will be split between us.

Monthly child support will be set at the Court's discretion. Should S choose to live with me full time I reserve the right to revisit the child support via the Courts.

In addition to court ordered child support I seek 300.00 per school year, payable by Aug. 1, for clothing and supplies for the children. I request we split the costs for all activities related to the children.

I seek half of your retirement fund and my military ID. I also request we both carry a life insurance policy of 500K naming one another as sole beneficiary until the children reach the age of 25.

Please provide a time and date as to when you will be retrieving your items from the storage shed.

NOTE: I would not give him the option to add or subtract things. I would also not ask him how he wants to divide other things. Instead you tell him what you are seeking (ask for more so you have room to negotiate).