Running out of time.

[Cie la vie]

It has been a while since I last posted but there has been some new developments in my sitch.

OM1 is now out of the picture and OM2 is in the drivers seat. During my last mediation session my STBX was compelled to inform me that she would be out of town this weekend. It wasn't anything I needed to know and I'm not sure if she was just trying to be courteous or twisting the knife. Probably a bit of both. She also broke the communication silence with me me via a text message on Tues. that was centered around the children, however, she again felt compelled to remind me she was going out of town for the weekend. I'm leaning toward this as knife twisting.

Prior to her moving out I through my snooping uncovered the rapidly evolving relationship with OM2. I also determined he was new to my city and recently from St. Louis. This has now been confirmed (facebook)as my STBX is in fact heading to St. Louis.

It is abundantly clear that she is wasting no time in offering herself up to OM. This has been quite an eye opener. By all accounts these are one call closes for the OM. I'm curious as to what others make of this behavior. Are these the actions of someone who is desperate or of someone who has just moved on or some other psychology? Any and all takes on this are welcome.

Other than this disturbing information that isn't really a surprise I have been doing quite well. I have maintained a NC policy and have not wavered. I will however need to break the silence next week to discuss how we intend to handle our home and to get the ball rolling on our taxes (I will do this through email). We also need to pay a deposit on the next school year for the kids.

My focus at work has improved dramatically in recent weeks and I am in a much better frame of mind than I have been in months. I attribute this to NC and being generally in the dark as to what she is doing. Now if I can keep from popping into her facebook. I also have moved to the mindset that I am divorced and this has effectively eliminated the stress associated with the D being offically final at some point in time. It does no good to dwell on a particular date.

This isn't to say that I have written our M off and I am no longer DBing but the reality is that my DBing efforts are all centered on improving me and my life and focusing on the kids. On the rare occasion that I do have contact with the STBX I am pleasant and act as if. The acting as if is become less acting and more the real deal daily. The STBX is almost "off belay".

There has been one other interesting development since I last posted as well. My SIL dropped a me a call this week to see how I was doing. I was pleasantly surprised. There were no revelations and the conversation was nice and uneventful. She wanted me to know that I was always welcome to drop in. It is also clear that there is a fear that contacting me will push my STBX away from her and I assured the SIL that I wouldn't mention to my STBX that we spoke.

The kids are with me this weekend and I am looking forward to our time together. The weather will be in the 70's so outdoor activities are in order.