I do believe her, but it's irrelevant. IF she were to come back I'd need concrete proof, but attacking her on it right now won't help anything. Talking to her last night I felt like I was talking to the person I knew for the first time in over a month, not the person she's trying to invent for herself. IF she comes back I'll ask for full disclosure, ask to hear it from all parties that it's over, and demand full access to all accounts. Despite the fact that I DO believe they haven't slept together, I'd also demand an STD test. But this is all moot right now. No reason to bring it up and throw a wrench into things.
Broken,
Why are you so apt to believe her, when she's done thing to earn that trust? "Faith" is one thing; "naivete" is quite another.
I agree, it's no time to "attack" her, nor was I advocating it. I think you could leave off my last part, and just say an "I really wish I could believe that," and I there is a REASON why I think this is important.
It's imperative for a formerly cheating spouse to know that REBUILDING TRUST is going to be a necessary part of any reconciliation. I don't suggest you "play offense" on this subject, but I would certainly recommend that anytime SHE brings up either "I'm no longer with OM" or even the subject of her truthfulness, that you say something like "I wish I could believe that," or "It saddens me that I have a hard time believing that, considering." Or some such.
Giving them a "pass" on their deceit doesn't do you OR them any good, IMHO.
